Look Here! Not There!

I'm not the most outwardly open person. I like to think I'm personable, at most a little charming, at the very minimum pleasant to be around. I try my best, but my efforts are all probably offset by my deep desire to not actually be known that well. I've got a lot of internal contradictions swirling in my head about my personality. I want to be looked at, but not that close to where someone will really see me. I make a lot of distractions out of myself for people to pay attention to instead. I like to create a cooler projection of who I am and dictate how I should be perceived. This is of course in order to distract people from seeing what I don't want them to see. But if you look where I don't want you to, the real me is there, she always is.